Episode Transcript
Speaker 0 00:00:00 I'm Skylar Vers for a K M Mrs. V, and I'm founder of Ageri, which is a lifestyle brand designed to support and enrich the 50 plus woman. And this podcast is all about uncovering the remedies that we masterfully create to our life. I love to explore the magic we all have inside us, and this podcast is about sharing those remedies with
Speaker 1 00:00:21 You. Well, welcome to the Age Rich podcast, and so excited today because we have the gorgeous Tina Nettel Fold. Welcome.
Speaker 2 00:00:28 Welcome. Thank you very much, <laugh>.
Speaker 1 00:00:31 And you are founder of Tea House? Yes,
Speaker 2 00:00:34 That's correct. Yeah,
Speaker 1 00:00:35 So, and talk to me about what that is.
Speaker 2 00:00:39 So Tea House is an online, um, bespoke homewares limited bespoke homewares range and all, everything that we make, obviously all our money goes to our charities. We have three charities that we support. So basically you can buy beautiful product and it gives back to three beautiful children's charities.
Speaker 1 00:01:00 That is so divine. I love that. And I love your story and hence why having you here is such a joy today because you are, you know, a great example of how I think ageism is in the world, and then how we don't let it stop us, do what we're doing. Absolutely. <laugh> tell
Speaker 2 00:01:19 Me. It is actually quite prevalent. Not only for, you know, um, I found this not only for myself as I've gotten older, but also when I was younger as well.
Speaker 1 00:01:29 And I believe too, that ageism and my philosophy is, I mean, hence why I went from ageless to age rich, because I feel like ageless was the elephant in the room. And in fact we do age, but it's a good thing and we should embrace it because we've become richer in each decade even. So, you know, be because I, I, I experienced that too. It's like if you're too young, you don't know enough and in each decade there's some issue, oh, you are gonna be a mother, so your forties, you know, you are not gonna be right for the job. So there's issues in it each front. So tell us your story, what happened? You were working and then Yes.
Speaker 2 00:02:04 Tell us what. Well, it's a, it's a long story. I've had a number of different careers. So, um, I started off in a very high powered career in my early days before I got married. Um, and was a media director of the very large agency back in the eighties and nineties. So that was, um, I climbed the ladder very quickly as a, as a young woman. And I was actually the youngest media director in the industry at the time. But I did battle at the time, even issues, like when I was brought into meetings, um, you know, you'd get the side looks like, does she really know what she's talking about? Cuz she looks a bit young, do you know what she's talking about? But I broke those barriers just simply by a lot of hard work. Um, and I loved what I did and I was very fortunate.
Speaker 2 00:02:50 I had amazing mentors as boss with bosses all along my journey in my life. So I started off there and then, um, I got married and my husband at the time said, right, I'm gonna go start an a company overseas. We are going to Asia. So it was like, oh my God, leaving a high powered career and going to Asia was a lot. But, um, he said to me, you'll be fine. It's actually for the good of our family, let's just go do this and you know, we're gonna adventure ahead of this. So I was in my thirties, early thirties at the time and I was very fortunate that the agency I worked with said, we can get you a job in Malaysia. No problem. Went there, worked overseas the whole time. Um, then we moved to Indonesia. I also as media director of very big agency there called McCann Erickson's.
Speaker 2 00:03:35 So I've always done very well in my career life, but always been a little bit of a struggle with the age. But it was all about determination for me and just working harder than my metal counterparts, which is how I got through that young years of ageism, so to speak. Um, then my husband kind of said, well, you know, I said to him, I really wanna have a baby. So having a child, I still worked. When we came back to Australia, my kids were nine. Um, my twins were nine and my youngest one was five. My husband still kept our overseas businesses, so he was traveling and I had to make a decision, was I still going to be working cuz I could work When I was overseas I had nannies. Um, and here it was a bit different cuz my husband had to travel.
Speaker 2 00:04:20 We came back because we wanted our children to have an Australian education. We wanted 'em to be close to their grandparents. And we thought 12 years overseas was long enough, it was time to come home. But I found myself in a situation where it was like, well, I don't really want an op pair being of Greek background, I wanted to be very hands on, even though I had nannies in Indonesia. It's a very different story there. You're still very hands-on. They just take care of all the things. That was very lucky. I didn't enough to do washing nappies, you know, all the laborious stuff. I got to do the fun bits. So when I actually came back, it was like, I don't want a nanny. I don't want, I just wanna be a stay at home mom. That was a really big deal. That was a very difficult thing to do, to go from that sort of job.
Speaker 2 00:05:06 And my husband who was running five companies overseas, it was like, so I was decided to be stay at home mom, be with my kids, get involved with this school and do all that sort of thing. So that I, I enjoyed that. And I did that for, for Neil nearly 12 years. Again, um, it was a long time getting him through till the, you know, they started university and they got their licenses so then I could let go. When my youngest child was in year 11, that's when it started to hit me and I went, okay, so he finishes next year. I'm not gonna be involved with the school. I was a typical parent that was one of those parents that just, you know, yes, I'll hate with a i'll, I'll help with a bake sale. Yes, I'll help with athletics. Yes. You know, and my kids were very busy, um, athletes as well.
Speaker 2 00:05:53 So I was always running them around. So my life was very full. But I, I realized getting to, my son was getting to year 11. Oh my goodness, okay. He said, finishing next year, where do I go from here? Now at this stage I'm in my fifties. So it was like, okay, there's epiphany going here. I didn't know what to do. My husband sort of said to me, oh, I'm sure, do you wanna go back to advertising? I said, oh no, I don't wanna be the 50 year old listening to a 30 year old telling me what to do. So I actually decided, you know, I needed a break. I, um, for five weeks to our place in Bali that I was renovating. And um, I was just sitting, you know, as we were doing all these jobs, I rang a girlfriend of mine saying, feeling very lost.
Speaker 2 00:06:38 I dunno what to do. I'm, I'm somebody's mother, I'm somebody's daughter, I'm somebody's wife, I'm somebody's nurse, taxi driver, you name it. But where's Tina? I don't know. And being in my fifties, it's not that easy to find yourself. So, um, I found that a really difficult journey. But my girlfriend turned around and said to me, why don't you just do what you're doing? I said, well, what do you mean by that? And she said, well, you know, you're renovating, you've done so many renovations. You've been building, you've done so many of our friends' houses, interior darling. I said, oh yeah, but that's a hobby. She goes, well, why don't you make your hobby? You're living <laugh>. And I was like, are you kidding me? I'm going, do you think I can at my age? See already I was already thinking of myself as old. My own self talk was not great. So you our greatest
Speaker 1 00:07:31 Ages I think ourselves
Speaker 2 00:07:32 On. Absolutely. And I just thought, really, can I re she goes, girlfriend, look at your past. Look what you've been able to do. Like, just put your, you know, big girl panties on and just go for it. So while I was over there, I started designing, um, my own range. I, I found I knew manufacturers there, so I did a cushion range. I did a ceramic range. I bought it all back. I opened my little guest house at the back and um, invited all my schoolmates and everything. And I sold out in three months. Wow. And it was like, okay. And then from that point time people say, can you come and do my home? And then I went, well, I better start to register. And I, so one thing led after another. So that was easy for me in that respect. Um, but it, it just kept, you know, it kept rolling.
Speaker 2 00:08:19 And in fact, I actually didn't even have to do any social media because it was just word of mouth. People would say, he does a great job. Go and do that. Go and do that. Age didn't come into it then because I was dealing with a lot of people who were my age. Women who, um, and they were all from friends who were children who left home. We need to redecorate, you know, like we are downsizing, we're doing all these sort of things. It wasn't until 2020 we went into lockdown. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And in 2020 I was turning 60. And in 2019 I um, organized this amazing 60th birthday to have in Greece. And then a big party when we came back. And of course we went into lockdown. That all had to get canceled. It all got moved. At this stage I was actually renovating the house that I live in now during lockdown.
Speaker 2 00:09:11 So, um, I started thinking I was getting a lot of clients ringing me saying, you know, can you order me some furniture? We are not going anywhere. So we thought we'd do our bedroom up, we do this, we do that. And I'm gone. And it was actually just one night I thought to myself, I don't wanna do this anymore. I really don't wanna do this anymore. I don't, this is really hard doing it during lockdown. Uh, I was really upset that I wasn't gonna be able to, um, celebrate my, my milestone birthday with my girlfriends. That really got to me cuz I really thought that was important to do that. And I just one day just thought, what about if I went back to designing Homewares and what about I married that with my love for charity, which I've always done all my life right from when I was a teenager.
Speaker 2 00:09:56 I've always done something and always been involved somewhere. And I actually told my husband and he said, well darling, I know what you are. Like, you know, could, you might do it, it'll happen. But it wasn't until I actually then decided to do that and I started putting all the bones together and I thought, I better speak to our accountant. I better speak to our bank managers. I better get all this sorted out. I better put some infrastructure in place. So I was very lucky cause I did very well in my interior design job itself. So I had money to back me. But when I actually went to, to speak to people about this, the pushback was enormous. Wow. Enormous. Not only from my accountant who said to me, are you sure? Like how are you gonna do that? And I said, oh, I can use social media as my platform.
Speaker 2 00:10:46 You know, I can start to, you know, do an online store and I will, you know, I'll start doing, everyone was doing lockdown, was watching all my cooking, everyone was watching my cleaning and I knew I had an audience cuz people were loving it. So I said, I'll use that as my platform. And then from there I could sell my homewares, I'll find the charities that I love to work with and I'll work with them. Honestly, he let out the biggest laugh, it was on a Zoom call and I was really embarrassed. And he said, are you kidding? He goes, who's gonna follow you? You're not relevant. It's for young people. Instagrams social media is not for people your age. And I said, well, there are some people there. And he goes, yeah, but they're all famous. Who are you? And I was like, oh.
Speaker 2 00:11:33 Anyway, that was a kick in the guts when you don't have your own accountant who believes in you. Um, then I went and had meetings with our bank manager saying, I need to set up an account, need to do this and that of course they're asking, you're doing this, whatever. Same reaction, but this time it was from a female. Wow. Yeah. Which absolutely astounded me. And she was in her forties and she just said, I don't think this is gonna work. I think you should do what your accountant said. Set up a foundation and just write some checks and give them to the charities. And I said, it defeats the purpose of what I wanna do. The whole idea is I wanna create a dialogue and narrative about how much we all need to give back to charities. And that if I start a homewares range where we give 100% of our profits away, I might be able to entice other companies to give a small, they don't give a hundred percent, not crazy like me, but they can give a small percentage because I really do believe in our kindness community and social consciousness needs to be a big part of our world at the moment.
Speaker 2 00:12:36 Whatever we do, there needs to be somewhere along the line. We need to help either our environment or people less fortunate than themselves. And I'm not asking companies and a lot of companies are doing it already. They're giving 2%, 5% or something back. And I think that's the way forward in the, and so I, that's where my idea came from. We can do something to give back to our charities.
Speaker 1 00:12:59 Um, I love that and I love that. I mean, there's so many things where, I dunno where to start <laugh> talking about everything because it's like, you know, when you talk about advertising, I was in advertising in an agency. Yeah. And I remember, um, going to drinks thing one night and there were all these women. It was for women and I was one of the panelists and one young girl came run running up to me and said, oh wow, how does it feel to be the oldest woman in the room? And I was like, and I, I just didn't even think I felt the same as everybody else. And I looked around and I didn't get upset. It was a really weird moment of, oh, am I oh, oh. Like I just didn't, it took a while to kind of sink in. But I think in advertising it's a really, it's, it's rife with ageism.
Speaker 1 00:13:43 And I think, you know, if you, you as a marketing person know that the biggest buying powers actually 50 plus. Like, it's just crazy. I remember when we started, um, starve when I was going round, I was talking to big C companies, laal one of them, and went through and talking to 50 marketing young people who all look 12. And I mean that was a very ages comment of I thing, sorry, <laugh>. It was like, they looked so young. Yeah. But they didn't understand the power of the 50 plus. And when we talked through stats at them, they were like, oh, oh wow, really? And I know people and yeah. You know, big or bigger organizations are changing the conversation. I still believe that it's, it's still ageist in its momentum. Like even Jennifer Ann. Absolutely. Absolutely. Do you know that thing with Jennifer Amston coming out and photographs of their body? I'm thinking no one has a body at that at whatever age. And then it's still untouchable and it's not about the body. That's the whole point is that Absolutely. You know, being age rich is understanding that it's not, it's your heart, it's your soul. It's who you are and what you do and what you give and how, how you respect and love one another. You know, like that's the richness.
Speaker 2 00:14:55 Absolutely. And I think that, um, what happens is not only do we have that knowledge, what I find is, even though we might have it, it's also we, we get to a stage two where we can lose that confidence, which is what actually happened to me, my fifties. It was like, well, do you think I could really do it? We, we actually are ages to ourselves, so we kind of go like, oh, but you know, where we're, so the people that we see that we can look up to, they're not that many of them. I mean, you've just seen Tracy Grimshaw has just walked away, but I mean obviously she's been doing it for a long time. She's one of the few, the itta but roses of the world. Yes, they are one of a few, but there isn't really Aer that we can look at and go.
Speaker 2 00:15:35 And what gets me is too that they kind of think that if you are mature that and you've got knowledge or you are a woman of a certain age, you've gotta look a certain way. And my attitude to that is I don't get that either. I really don't get that either. It's like we've been pigeonholed and I come from a world of marketing. I come from the world. I mean, I'm a media strategist, you know, I know all about the demographics and I know who has the spending power. What gets me is constantly when I see things and I think, do you realize that women over their fifties are the ones who have actually got the spare cash to spend on luxury items, on travel, on clothes? And yet you depict all the lifestyle as probably women in their 30 fives. Like really? Does it really,
Speaker 1 00:16:21 I don't know. It just, it doesn't make sense to me. And I, I think, I think there is an understanding coming, like they're aware, but I feel personally it's tokenistic and I feel, you know, that it's not, I love Rebecca Gibney's comment where she came back and she said, actually it's not about the body. You know, I feel more comfortable in who I am and my trackies and <laugh>, whatever it is. And I think how that kind of comes into the media, I don't know, I don't know how they're going to, how to bring it out I guess, where it's just having the conversations like we are and talking about that people want, want to know it's okay to be themselves and to feel self-acceptance and and more confident and
Speaker 2 00:17:03 That Absolutely. But the more that we all as women talk about this, yeah. The more we give, um, I know from my own followers, the more I talk about it, the more confidence they get. Um, I had a, um, a situation where I, I went to the races. We owned a couple of race horses. Um, we pay for our beautiful table that we sit in the, in the, you know, in the flemington, um, members areas. I got a few invites to go down to the bird cage and I was absolutely astounded because everyone in the members area are women and men probably mid to mid forties upwards. Very few 35 year olds or 30 year olds. Really. I get that we have the means to pay for those, those table, what gets me is I'm in the bird cage and I'm going to all the different areas, all full of influences. Everyone is under the age of 35. I just don't get it. I get the idea that they are there because they want, you know, it's all about them with their social platform. And I'm going, really, I don't see anyone who really comes to the races in your age group, you'll just here having a drink. I'm not really sure what you're depicting. What I think I got really pissed off about was where are the beautiful women that were there that were dressed immaculately over the age of 50?
Speaker 1 00:18:23 Yeah. You see, and and I agree and it is a funny thing where this adoration of youth and, and it's, it's very toxic. It is. Because I think, you know, even myself, I scroll through socials and I mean, I do social media accounts for people and I, it's my business. So I stroll and I could feel myself going, I could feel the inner narrative going, oh, I don't look like that or I'm not like that, you know, and I have to pull myself up and go, oh, stop, stop, stop, stop up. You know, like it, it's the confidence I think that young people portray is because they feel the confidence even though there's a whole lot of other issues going on with young people, which I won't go into. But as we get older we don't, as you say, have the confidence to go that we feel and look okay because it's all energetic.
Speaker 1 00:19:12 True. Like you, you can feel in you and how you portray and, and your, I look at your social and there's just a ray of sunshine coming out and I can feel that you've found that who you are. Like you talked about your journey about I don't know what to do, who am I? And I love that you went through that because I mean, half of what I'm trying to kind of bring a philosophy forward about is that when we experience ageism or you have those moments, it actually is a kind of a wake up call to have the inner transformation to recognize who you are and how valuable you are. Do you think that experience for you then made you go on to kind of find a stronger you
Speaker 2 00:19:53 Afterwards? Oh, absolutely. If it, it really wasn't. I re I still had a lot of doubts, um, in my fifties when I went to go and do that. And I go do people, would they like my designs? You know, well, people really like what I do. So I was that person that, you know, I had a, I have a lot of confidence in myself. I have had from a very young age. And I think it's because I've, I've always been in the spotlight as a young girl doing ballet and a few things. So I, and also, uh, as you know, in advertising, I always had to present. So I was, I was actually given the tools to be able to be confident and speak, but I didn't really believe as I got older that when I was doing was like, oh, is it good enough?
Speaker 2 00:20:31 Is it not good enough? It, and I would constantly ask people, do you like it? Is it okay? Oh, does it look okay? Is it good in your home? I was confident in my design work. I just wasn't confident in producing my home wears range. And I kept asking for, for people to kind of say yes, yes it is. And it wasn't until you were getting those affirmations that I started to go, I couldn't do this. I'm okay, I know what I'm doing, I'm just gonna go forward. But it took a lot because I didn't have that confidence at 55. It was until I started to really, to really sort of hone into it and go, yeah, people are loving it and they're sharing it and they're telling people and I'm going, I can do this. I'm okay.
Speaker 1 00:21:12 I can do, I know. And it's, it's, I mean, in one way you kind of go, what I mean that we need the reflection from people to say we're okay. And I guess it's like, you know, you are a confident, amazing, accomplished woman. Like amazing and you are obviously well loved for everything that you do. And, and it's funny that when someone says to you, oh, do you think anyone's going to be interested? Was there the part of you inside that went, you know what I, they're like, was it kind of like, oh yeah, set that journey to go, I'm gonna prove you wrong because I know deep inside actually I'm worth it.
Speaker 2 00:21:46 Yeah. Well the thing was when I got, you know, those reactions from two people in particular that were in an, that I needed this support to go forward with what I was doing, don't worry. I walked out of there and excuse me for doing this, but I did this
Speaker 1 00:22:01 <laugh>
Speaker 2 00:22:02 Because I'm the sort of person and my husband knows me so well when someone says, you can't say watch me. And that's where I had to dig really deep and go, okay, I can do this. I think what astounded me, and still to this day I find really difficult is even some of my girlfriends doubt what I'm doing.
Speaker 1 00:22:22 Hmm.
Speaker 2 00:22:22 And they're in the same age group as me. Like, why, why are you doing this? Like,
Speaker 1 00:22:26 You know, but I think that's the, the, this is the issue. I think the, the systemic issue is our own self-belief that we are not okay, we're not valuable as we get older. Correct. And you know, and hence why my whole conversation is, look, you have greater wisdom, you have more skills, more experience. And then there is a bit of a letting go of, I don't care what you think, but it is a kind of, there's something else that comes through. I think. Whether it's the fear of, you know, less life or there's something that that activates, which is how what we need to address in people to kind of go, it doesn't matter. Like we might live till we're 150 soon. I don't know. I mean the world's like crazy. Like you can't just go, look, I'm, I'm on the retiring kind of dying age
Speaker 2 00:23:12 <laugh>. Well that's what they were saying. Saying, oh, why don't you just take up some golf and have lunch with us? And I'm like, so for me, what I think happened when 2020 happened and my had to like change all that was, I want a purpose. I don't wanna keep doing people's houses. Cuz that was really a mind boggling thing. So after a while it's like, oh, can't deal with this. I wanted to do something, I wanted to wake up every day and go, I've got something I wanna do that's mine. It's my baby. But I also wanna give back. And it's the giving back that I get the biggest buzz from. It's when I can go into the Lighthouse Foundation, one of their homes or actually houses cuz they houses and I make them into warm cuddly homes. And then you get people that have been through the system and they walk in, they go, oh my God, I wish I had this when I was growing up.
Speaker 2 00:24:01 This is so beautiful. I feel so warm and loved in you. Um, and you know, when you get those reactions, they're, to me the greatest price. It's not the money I raise, not, I'm not raising millions yet. I hope to one day be able to, you know, really, you know, expand this empire. But it's what I do on the other end. The dialogue and the narrative, creating spaces for them, not only that, but getting them people to help with their rebranding, helping them with marketing, helping them with connections, getting 'em into places they haven't been able to before. Um, they're the things that I find the biggest buzz from and my biggest passion, I've got more love for this now than I've had for any other job that I've ever done. But it's taken the accumulation of my knowledge from working in advertising. Um, I even worked, um, when I went to Malaysia, I went and worked as a, a marketing teacher in one of the institutes there, the Link Wing Institute. So that gave me also an understanding of how I can share my knowledge. And then being a stay at home mom, oh my gosh, probably my most wealthy exper my most wealthy experiences of my life because it taught me patience.
Speaker 1 00:25:18 Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 00:25:18 <affirmative> it taught me how to multitask like you would not believe. It taught me how to basically, you know, give, be able to compartmentalize all these different things and still get them all done as much as I could and give as much. So those things, I've actually taken all those accumulation, they're my love for interiors and, and everything, all that is given me the opportunity to build Tea House because I didn't have all that wealth. I've information, I wouldn't have been able to get this up and running in 18 months.
Speaker 1 00:25:48 And you are a perfect example in when I do personal branding for people, because I'll have people come and they've been in advertising for example, they go, I just don't wanna do that anymore. They wanna throw it all out. And I go, hang on a second. Well, what else do you do? Hobby? Whatever it is, you know, example. And they go, oh, but I don't wanna do that. And I said, yes, but everything is part of a bigger plan. Yes. You bring all that knowledge together. Yes, yes. Have a look at the stuff that you do as a hobby. So you are such a wonderful example of that, that yes, you know, there is a reason that we do everything and then when it accumulates together, that brings the purpose.
Speaker 2 00:26:21 Absolutely.
Speaker 1 00:26:22 Sometimes we don't see it for a long time. So I, I love it.
Speaker 2 00:26:25 And I think that, um, the thing is when I do speak to other people and they kind of like, a lot of them sort of said, I don't know what I wanna do. I'm retiring from like their job. So they call 'em jobs. Um, and you go, well follow, you know, you don't have to do what I do, but what have you always wanted to do? What is it that you've always wanted to do? And it, not necessarily a purpose, but have you learned, wanted to learn to play, uh, to do ballet? I had one lady said to me, I would love to but my children say I'm too old. And I said, rubbish, rubbish. Just sky phone. I have friends now that I have said to them, go and follow what you love. I've got a friend of mine who now plays in masters in tennis. She was an amazing tennis player as youth and obviously brought up her kids, was there, did some, she worked and now she has the opportunity to go back to something that she always loved, but as a mature woman. So, and she's loving it. She's loving the journey of being, you know, part of that sort of team and stuff. Your purpose doesn't necessarily have to be a tree related thing,
Speaker 1 00:27:26 You know, and it doesn't, purpose can be just making, looking after your family. It's just whatever makes your heart sing, I think in what you're doing.
Speaker 2 00:27:33 Absolutely.
Speaker 1 00:27:34 What do you think, I mean, I love it that you've been in the media and you know, you know it well. What do you think is a solution in ageism in the media? Like what would you say or do or tell them how?
Speaker 2 00:27:47 Well, first week and they stopped depicting us with all with gray hair
Speaker 1 00:27:51 <laugh>. It's so true. It's, you know, when you go for stock images and they're all like grannys and stuff, it just drives me nuts. Sorry. God.
Speaker 2 00:27:59 Yeah. But it's true, isn't it? I mean, I kind of go, look, I get it. And you know, like a lot of my friends embrace the gray during lockdown and some of them look gorgeous. I even said this on my, one of my stories one day and I said to everyone, if I was to go gray with my European skin and my warm tones, I would look pasty. I look terrible. So I choose, and I've said to my children, even if I'm in a home, you are gonna make sure that every three weeks get my hair colored, my nails done <laugh>. And I said, yes, I'm a princess, but I've worked hard to be a princess. So I don't know. They're the things that I want in my life. We don't all need to be depicted. We, we can see, you can see it in our skin, you can see it in our smiles.
Speaker 2 00:28:38 We've lived a life. Th they are beautiful things. And to, and attitude is that, you know, we, we need to embrace that. We need to show all forms. We don't all need to be gray head. How the media can embrace that is a number of different ways. I just think we are not given the opportunity firstly. So, you know, I have a girlfriend of mine who's an actress, for example, gorgeous woman, same age as me, really attractive lady. She misses out on Noles because either she looks too good looking for her age or she's not young enough. Like where do you sit? Like open those, you know, she's an actress so she can look older. So my attitude is, excuse me, aren't you an actress? Do you have, you know, like I don't get that. Don't they? Can't they make you look older? Isn't it your abilities?
Speaker 2 00:29:26 So I think we need to stop looking at the exteriors and look at the abilities that people have, the experience, the knowledge. I don't think it should be based on what we look like. I don't think it should be based on anything other than how good we are at what we do. And if the media starts to do that, rather than yes, okay, we're gonna put a very good looking person in to replace someone on a TV show. They're usually a much younger, you know, person. They don't look at the older ones. It's like, oh, they're on the way out. I mean Koshi is what, 65 still on tv?
Speaker 1 00:30:00 There you go. You see, and it's interesting, the male thing, I mean I, I mean I think men, cuz my husband's experienced ageism and um, but you know, I look at that too, that he was meant to go through that process. I don't, I don't ever want to feel victim or him to feel victim to no environmental thing. I think it's the, the journey and then he found something amazing, but he didn't get it. So I think the men there, they definitely suffer on some level, but I think women definitely have it worse.
Speaker 2 00:30:29 And I think, so there are women, um, just to tell you a couple of, um, I got probably 500 dms on when I actually did talk about this on my own social platform, which was I went to the races and I saw some absolutely stunning women dressed to the night women over 50. None of them were photographed. None of them were depicted in the media. You watch the VRCs, you know, commercials, they're all 30, 30 fives laughing in whatever. And I'm like going show a cross section of what people are there is, I'm not saying we should all be about, you know, people of a certain age. I'm saying show a cross section, include us. It's about inclusivity. That word seems to be banded around a lot lately. I did then some statistics because when I saw 500 over 500 dms, some of these women, I said, do you feel that you are being depicted? I had women telling me stories like I I love this story. She said, I got to the hairdresser with my daughter who is 35 and I'm in my sixties. She said, we have the same color hair and we starla hear exactly the same. And at the end of it, the hairdresser takes a photo of my daughter for their social media and puts her on the wall. And I never get asked. And I feel really bad. I never said anything to my daughter. But she goes, do you, what do you think? I feel like it's
Speaker 1 00:31:56 So funny. I I've got, you just reminded me, I go to quite an established hairdressing salon in Double Bay and I noticed that I'm never photographed and my hair's always like they love the hair. Like she's an amazing and I'm thinking why is it always the young ones that get the photo?
Speaker 2 00:32:13 I'm just, uh, I'm just asking it for me. So I kind of look at it from a marketing point of view. Go, I don't get that because as we age, we need to color our hair more frequently than a young person. So we are the ones coming in every three weeks and spending the money, but they're coming in every six weeks. Um, why don't you show women a little bit older and the beautiful hairstyles you do women of all ages. I don't get that. So I think think that they're actually missing them up personally. Mm-hmm. If there was somebody who was doing that, they would get much, they'll get a much bigger pool of women going and saying, oh, I love that color. I've, you know, that I don't get, that to me is kind of weird. It's like you're missing a, like you were saying before, great big section of women or or men in that category who have actually got extra money to spend. It's weird.
Speaker 1 00:33:01 It's funny. Is it, cause do you think that women, when we look through and we aspire or we're still attracted to that youth and imagine we don't almost want to face or feel like when women look at old women, is that, is that, what is that part of it? Is that their thinking or they want to, you know, be younger so we're gonna show them younger people to buy things because I'm trying to think of what the
Speaker 2 00:33:23 Reasons I'm, I'm not really sure other, maybe they think what I get upset about is maybe they think we are unattractive.
Speaker 1 00:33:34 And that's the whole thing about there's no, like, if you look at it from the value of youth is beautiful and the kind of the, the fountain of everything. Um, then we have this wrong belief system and we've been taught and indoc indoctrinated with this thing that age is ugly as you say. But when you go to a Asia or you go to Europe and there's this beautiful Yes. Love and respect Yes for the elders and cycle the indigenous, you know, like there is a beauty and a richness that, and we don't and it's hard to bring it in. Like that's how I go the journey of how do you start changing that? And I guess, you
Speaker 2 00:34:15 Know, well it helps, helps. It helps if you start getting more and more companies realizing that there is actually beauty in any age. Yeah. And I just think that the whole cosmetic industry have to blame as well. So, oh,
Speaker 1 00:34:28 It's, it's based on the fact that you're not good enough and you're not, you know, that's what it is. It's talking to that part of us that we feel
Speaker 2 00:34:35 And we, we subliminally believe it and we kind of go, oh yeah, you know, I mean how many you get together with a group of women that might be of a certain age, first thing they'll say is, oh, do you think I need a neck lift?
Speaker 2 00:34:47 I think, you know, um, do you think, you know, like what do you reckon? I get some Botox on my eyes and you know, what diet are you on? You know, menopause, oh my God, that middle belly, you know, like what are we gonna do about that? Do you think I should go and get, we are constantly, as women, I didn't, I didn't have that much of a dialogue to myself when I was younger. I'm having more of that dialogue because I'm surrounded by my friends and all of us now that I'm older, it's like all guests, you know, I've got see like, oh my God, it's so bad. What do we do about we, we are all, we are all going to, what gets me is when I was younger, we're all gonna get older at some stage. Yeah. So why is it that for me it's like, it's about, again, the inclusivity. Let's talk about all ages. They're all beautiful. You know, they, there's a lot of talk about, of course about inclusivity with the L G B Q T I hopefully plus
Speaker 1 00:35:38 <laugh>.
Speaker 2 00:35:39 I've always letters in. There's been a lot of talk about that and about, you know, making sure that they're all included. But if you look at the statistics recently, 2019, the biggest form of discrimination was ageism, not sexism or racism. It was ageism. And I can't believe that those stats, and it's only a recent study and yet, um, we as a society don't look at that. We just think it's all about sexism and, and about, you know, racism.
Speaker 1 00:36:10 It is, it's the hard, it's the most accepted form of discrimination, ageism, and excellent. And, and I, I've seen the stats and it's um, you know, it's across every level. And I think it starts with us and we have to start, it
Speaker 2 00:36:24 Starts with us story and more dialogues. Like this is when you get more people actually talking about it. Um, I think it would be great to see a lot more companies, uh, look, there's some beautiful clothing brands for example. They're now showing women of a certain age. That's what I like to call us. You mature women or women of a certain age. Yeah. The the thing is they've got the most divine bodies and they've got, we've got gray hair. Stop it. We talk about body inclusivity. There are all shape, shapes and sizes of women over a certain age, believe it or not. Women who get over 60 unfortunately get a menopause belly. It's just normal. Like I've not seen anyone who depicts any of that and makes women feel comfortable in their own bodies. Instead what we do is because we don't see it as beautiful, we self-sabotage ourselves with criticism.
Speaker 1 00:37:11 Yeah. That's it. I love it. I love it. And I think you're right. It's just people doing more of it. I think the media and organizations and brands need to keep embracing it, not as tokenistic, but change their thinking even in the clothes sizings of clothes and Oh absolutely. You know, like I know some of the brands don't make certain sizes cuz they don't want women to wear their clothes who are bigger, which is just unbelievable. It
Speaker 2 00:37:37 Is. There is, there is lots. We, but I think more, the more we talk about this, the more we empower. Yeah. Um, the more we, we say things, the more I point things out, the more women say to me, thank you for speaking up. So many thank yous. Speak up. Mm-hmm. Pay more. So we are at Tea house actually going to be next year doing a lot more, uh, what we've gonna call, uh, t events, which we do very well actually imagine we're going to do, we've got a lovely events area and a warehouse that I've now got. And we are going to invite women and come along for discussions and, and empower women to say, you know what? Find, find the strength within and just go forward. Stop the self sabotage talk. We as women's self sabotage talk all the time, even in their twenties and their thirties.
Speaker 2 00:38:22 Yeah. But when we get to our age and we are not represented and we are not shown to be all different shapes and sizes, it is even more difficult. Even though we might be mature and we get it, we actually do feel really a lot of women are very sad, deeply sad inside. Um, and that comes because a lot of people just say, oh, you're too old to do this. No, you shouldn't do that. And as I said, I mean I had so many people say to me, you're not gonna succeed. And women, even women my age, because no one is gonna watch you on social media.
Speaker 1 00:38:58 Well it, it's, I mean hence why I came up with the word age rich. Cuz I was in the shower going, you know, I was just thinking I was going, we're not less of anything <laugh> just going
Speaker 2 00:39:08 Not less of anything.
Speaker 1 00:39:09 And and it's, it was like the elephant in the room is, oh, I wanna be ageless. But no, hang on own it. Where age rich, we actually have all these wonderful things that happen, our wisdoms and, and, and every decade. And I think it's really important to kind of like, and anyone that I've told that to, they've gone, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I've <laugh> that's what you want
Speaker 2 00:39:29 <laugh>. Absolutely. I have, um, I've gone to a couple of weddings and there's been some young 35 year old beautiful women mm-hmm. Gorgeous women that I've met. 30, they might be in their thirties. They've followed their career. They, a lot of 'em are now got their own apartments. They're, they're doing all the things that our amazing women in the seventies, you know, built the road for all of us to go. And I'm always looking at that in my young career went, gosh, if it wasn't for them, I wouldn't have been able to climb the ladder like I did. Right. So thank you to them. And so many of them come up to me saying, oh, oh, I wanna be like you and bath play, you know, I wanna be happy, I wanna marriage. And I went, well you, we wanted all girls. That's the problem. We want it all. And a lot of them actually say, but if I stop my career,
Speaker 1 00:40:15 Hmm.
Speaker 2 00:40:15 And I get married, or if I have a baby, I'll lose it all. And that is what us women of a certain age need to say. As I said to them, and I told 'em my story, I said, no, you can do anything. The amazing thing is if you put your mindset to it, even if you stay home for 10 years, you can come back and do whatever you want. Don't ever think because you've built this up, you're gonna lose it. And that's where ageism is really systemic because women think that if I let this go, I won't get it back again. And I attitude to that is you can, don't worry if you're 45 or 50 50, you know. It
Speaker 1 00:40:51 Is, it's true, it's true. And there's a huge, some ridiculous statistic of 50% of women who get divorced over 50 are homeless. Like it's a really bad, because what happens is they feel, I think they go, okay, I'm gonna have children, I'm gonna not work and I'll be looked after. They don't kind of have this mindset of going, I'm gonna kind of look after the child or whatever you're doing, but know that you're not kind of one person with that person. Always have to think of yourself regardless. I mean, it's healthy, it's always healthy to kind of have your own autonomy in your own world, spiritually, I feel. So I think that's the big issue, you know,
Speaker 2 00:41:28 Big issue and uh, that that statistic, yes, those numbers are absolutely, um, criminal in
Speaker 1 00:41:35 This. And I love that you're doing, I mean, you are such an inspiration. It's been such a joy talking to you because I just feel, you know, you've, you've, you've, you've done the, the ultimate journey of finding who you are through that and you are living it and you're giving back so generously. I mean, just showing them that it's possible because it just takes the articulation of, oh my gosh, she's running a business and it's all going to charity. I mean that wakens things up in people's minds and it is the future because it's kindness and it's also goes beyond the agenda. And I think people are so frightened, they're so tired and they just, they, they have an agenda because they have to survive. So I think it's kind of going, you know, how do I get outta survival mode and get into living mode and, and the challenges are part of life's path. And that's rather than going, I want it easy. It's not about easy. I mean, I knew when I did this and what I'm doing, it wouldn't be easy. I'm living my purpose. Doesn't mean that every day as I get up and I feel amazing, I feel terrible doing. I'm daisy and I feel down, but I love what I'm doing and that's what it is. But life is those every day challenges,
Speaker 2 00:42:47 You know? And, and you. Why can I ask, why do you love what you do?
Speaker 1 00:42:52 Oh, I'm a maker. I just love making things and I love, um, I love inspiring people that, that's my thing. I mean, when I'm on stage doing talks and I'm in my happy place, like I look in every face and I mean, you know, I do healing with people as well and I can feel people's what's happening for them. And I just connect on a heart level. Like after one of the events I did Mrs. V shift and I think we had about a hundred people there and 25 speakers. Huge. But I had two people come up crying and you know, someone who was not, it was at the Langham, it was very plush, but she was not of that kind of vibe. And, and, but she said, I've never felt so included and thank you and oh bless, you know, it was lovely. So that's what I love and my vision, but it's certainly not been easy.
Speaker 1 00:43:39 But as my son said to me, so if it doesn't work, when are you going to go back and get a real job? That's what my son said to me. Oh really? And um, I said, uh, well never. And he went, oh really? I said, no, this is not a, I'm trying something. This is who I am, this is my life. I'll just keep going <laugh>. It's like, you know, cause I love it. And, and it's, and I think part of what I do is just showing people that I think social media is very much responsible for that. Life is beautiful and there are no problems and you never feel any terrible emotions. And you are odd if you do is to go, no, I have all the tools. I'm rich with the tools that I have made to get through life. Doesn't mean I don't have hard days and I don't have issues, but I have the tools to get through it. That's the difference.
Speaker 2 00:44:27 And those tools came with age.
Speaker 1 00:44:30 That is it. So that's why I might as remedies for life made by life, you know, because it's from my experiences that's done it. Oh, I love it. You get it. Totally.
Speaker 2 00:44:38 Yeah. It's just, but that's what I trying to say to a lot of youth as well. That you know, the the, you'll get the answers as you, as you journey to my own sons. I'll say, okay, this is a tough time. Okay. Finding it really tough but reason, the reason it was tough. And then I was talking about lockdown for my son who was at, oh it was a tough time for him psychologically, he didn't do very well. I said, I know this is a really tough time. Everyone's going to the same tough time. What other positives in this? And he found it eventually and that was, he realized he wanted to go and do his masters. So I said, do let's do it. You, I know we are all locked in, but it's a perfect opportunity for you to now do that because you're not missing out.
Speaker 2 00:45:19 Yes. I know the fear of FOMO and the fear of going out and being with your mates. You can just concentrate and get it done and you'll walk out with your masters three degrees and a master's and a away you go. And he did and it was tough. He did it. And now he goes off, mum, thanks for pushing me into it. But you know, if it was, but the thing is that journey that he did that tough of digging deep of like, you know, I'm lonely, I'm missing my mates, I'm missing, you know, that everyone went through you turn that around and it will be an experience that you use later on in life and say, I need to draw on that strength. And that's why it, when we do get older, we have those abilities because we know, cause we can draw from our experiences. That's why our young people come to us and ask X, Y, Z. So that's why I get really frustrated and go, so you come to us for advice, but you tell us we're too old. Uh, so
Speaker 1 00:46:15 That's it. And, and it's, I mean I think a lot of parents too, unfortunately have not wanted their kids to suffer. So they have had issues around the fact that they are not coping in life cuz they haven't had the challenges. The challenges are what makes us who we are. There's a gift in everyone. Absolutely. And that
Speaker 2 00:46:36 It's, it's, it's all those things when we trip over, I don't like to call 'em failures, they're just lessons. You pick yourself up, you just keep going. Let's not just go, oh, you pour little darling, I'll stick you in some cotton. Woo. But you know, like the reality is as we become more mature, we have had scrapes, we've got cuts, we've got, we've got things that are deep that may have hurt us along the way. But that's what gives us the ability to be amazing. To be amazing because we have had all those things, like you said, in Europe, our elderly are, you know, revered and everyone, they usually have extended families. The grandparents have a place in the families. Women are, you know, mature women look incredible. They, they are on the front pages of vogue and bizarre. I don't know what hap what's happening in our country. We're all about the youth America doesn't help as well because they're all all about the youth as well. But you know, the thing is that, uh, we have a lot to offer. It would be nice to see that our community realizes that and makes us more inclusive. That's all I say. You know, this word gets used a lot. Let's make sure that we are represented in our community properly. All shapes, all sizes. Men, women, you know, we have a lot to offer occasionally look our way. We are kind of fun and
Speaker 1 00:47:57 We hate <laugh>. I
Speaker 2 00:47:58 Think we're fun. Trust me. I I I know I'm fun. I've got young people saying, where do you get all your energy from? And I said, oh, I can sleep when I'm dead. That's why <laugh>
Speaker 1 00:48:09 <laugh>. I know, I know. I'm totally there when you do your workshops and your, your talks or whatever you're doing. Uh, very inspiring and you know, yeah, I just think what you're doing is amazing and I'm totally a hundred percent supportive and will share it on my age Rich as well. Thank you. So how do people find you? Tell, tell us about where they're friends
Speaker 2 00:48:29 Very easily. So I do have a website that is, um, all about who I am and what we stand for. It talks a lot about our charities and what we do, the money that we raise for them. And of course it's got our e shop in there as well, plus some beautiful, um, styling tips and ideas. And that is t house.com.au. And then you can also find us on social media platforms and on YouTube where you can follow my renovation. Nightmare. <laugh> <laugh>
Speaker 1 00:48:55 <laugh>. We're
Speaker 2 00:48:57 Building, we're building after all these year, we're finally building our dream home to retire in for the next 20 years. And I don't call it retire because I'm actually gonna keep working until the day I go.
Speaker 1 00:49:06 I'm about to say I can't see you retiring at all. It's, it's
Speaker 2 00:49:10 Someone who we wanna sort of spend more time. But yeah, it's a long process and it's a nightmare. But, um, that's,
Speaker 1 00:49:17 I'm looking forward to
Speaker 2 00:49:18 Enjoying it. Follow along. Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to tell my story. I really appreciate that. Yeah, a pleasure to meet you. And I hope when I do, I'll be coming up to Sydney a lot more often. Maybe we could catch up for
Speaker 1 00:49:30 Love. I would love to have lunch. Let, let's do lunch when you come. That would be amazing. Thank you so much. Thank you. Pleasure to meet you.
Speaker 2 00:49:36 Love. And to
Speaker 1 00:49:37 You. Yes. Love with Michael. Hi Tina. Thank you.
